Once Upon a Time..

Once upon a time..*silent laugh* ada 3 sekawan ini..si lawyer,si cikgu dan si doktor..durang ni kawan baik..kalau balik rumah pun selalu sama2..

Kisahnya bermula begini..pada satu malam...3 sekawan ni balik lewat...durang punya rumah di tingkat 60..

Pada malam itu diurang amat susah hati sebab pak guard bilang durang punya lift malam tu rusak...
So untuk kasi hilang penat jalan naik tangga durang berbincang la kan.. jadi begini lah lebih kurang dialog dia.. 

Lawyer: Apa macam kita mo naik ni..rumah kita tingkat 60.. pingsan lah kita ni.. penat baitu kerja tadi siang...

Doktor: Jangan ko risau bah.. mari kita cerita-cerita lucu sambil naik tangga..

Cikgu: Aiyak.. mana bulih geng.. kalau cerita lucu.. nanti baru tingkat satu.. kepenatan sudah kita ketawa.. nda bulih tu, nda bulih.

Lawyer: Jadi macam mana lah ni.. 

Cikgu: Bah... sa ada satu idea. apa kata kalau kita cerita2 sedih.. kalau cerita sedih mesti kita cepat sampai tu..

(durang 3 urang pun setuju cerita sedih..padahal masih lagi durang di ground floor ni)

Lawyer: Jadi sa mula la ah..begini bah..waktu sa kecil dulu kan.. bapak sa meninggal kan..
sa saturang saja pi sikul.. huhuhu..sudahlah sa miskin, mo kena rajin belajar..lepas tu sa kena kerja jadi kuli2 kaling lagi.. sedih oo..

(si cikgu & si doktor nangis sudah..inda tahan durang dengar ni cerita)

Cikgu: Bro, sudah lah tu.. tingkat 40 sudah kita ni huhu..

Doktor: Wahh.. butul bah cakap ko..inda sedar tingkat 40 sudah...betul2 inda rasa ni..bah kalau begitu sa mula la ah..cerita sa lagi sedih oo..

Masa sa kecik kan...mama sa meninggal.. tinggal sama  atuk. sa dipukul...makcik sa bagus tapi kalau dia kesian atau tulung sa kan, dia sendiri pun kena pukul sama atuk sa..bengis oo atuk sa.. sebab itu sa mo jadi doktor sebab kalau makcik sa sakit kena pukul.. sa bulih ubat dia.. huhuhu

(si lawyer sama si cikgu pun sedih)

Lawyer: Ish sedih bah cerita ko ni..*sob-sob*.. jangan la ko sambung..tingkat 55 sudah kita ni.. biar si cikgu kasi habis cerita.. inda sanggup sa dengar ko punya cerita..

Jalan punya jalan..
Si lawyer sama si doktor kasi 'push' itu cikgu supaya cerita sedih..
Sampai di tingkat 59 baru dia start buka cerita..

Cikgu : Sia punya cerita lagi sedih..mesti kamurang menangis darah ni kalau dengar..

Doktor & Lawyer : Kenapa geng?

Cikgu : Kunci rumah kita tertinggal dalam kereta.........




the end..


editted by me
credit + original: en kacang (SabahForum)

Medicine is the best laughter

Good News

The doctor took his patient into the room and said, “I have some good news and some bad news.”

The patient said, “Give me the good news.”

“They're going to name a disease after you.”

Advantage of Jargons

A man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do.

When the exam was complete, he said, “Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me.”

“Well, in plain English,” the doctor said, “you're just lazy.”

“Okay,” said the man. “Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife.”

The Price of Choice

The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant.” You have your choice of two brains,” he told the patient, “For $1000 you can have the brain of a psychologist, or for $10,000 you can have the brain of a politician.”

The patient was amazed at the huge difference in price. “Is the brain of a politician that much better?” he asked.

The Brain Surgeon replied, “No, it's not better, just unused.”

Insurance Proceeds

A doctor had just bought a villa on the French Riviera, when met an old lawyer friend whom he hadn't seen in years, and they started talking. The lawyer, as it turned out, owned a nearby villa. They discussed how they came to retire to the Riviera.

“Remember that lousy office complex I bought?” asked the lawyer, “Well, it caught fire, and I retired here with the fire insurance proceeds. What are you doing here?”

The doctor replied, “Remember that real estate I had in Mississippi? Well, the river overflowed, and here I am with the flood insurance proceeds. It's amazing that we both ended up here in pretty much the same way.”

“It sure is,” the lawyer replied, looking puzzled, “but I'm confused about one thing – how do you start a flood?”


Source & Credit : Email

Wet Clothes and Bras

Hello my loyal readers (mcm trip2 top pla ni kan) today's topic/entry will be about XXXX!
Hahaha..teda la..It's just some nice-to-know info saja bah..boleh kan?

My entry here is for education purpose only ok..so don't get me wrong ah girls? And this is my very first english entry...so everyone, just bear with me. Dont judge! hahahaha xDD (terutamanya cigu2 inggeris..hehe)! Your kind cooperation is, as always, very much appreciated. Heeehe.

Wet Clothes

Did you know, most men find the sight of a woman wearing clinging, soaking wet clothes a tremendous turn on.Wet clothes catch a men attention more than any other clothes. It is a effective weapon to seduce a men. In fact, men are even more aroused if the drenching is apparently spontaneous.

Women in europe have realized this fact more than 2 centuries ago. They have a trend of wetting their clothes before going out and the trend keep going in the winter.

Some of them got cold and some even died because at that time a fever was enough to kill someone. But, as they say fashion rises from pain, a cold is nothing. I wish that trend would come once again. :p

Bras for dummies

All men love boobs but they are so clueless and confused when it comes to bra size (36C. 32A etc etc). So, out of courtesy to my fellow brothers (ececeh)..i'm willing to share some of my sacred + divine wisdom to them (especially to aki) after doing a considerably intense trawling on the net..gyahaha.

Alright guys.. first of all, in order to determine a bra size (such as 32, 34, 36,38  refers to the size of the band to fit all the way around her) the measurements are taken around the rib cage right under the breast. 

Then in order to determine cup size (such as A,B,C,D,DD, refers to the size of the breast) another measurement is taken around the rib cage and breasts at the largest point (where they stick out the most). 

For each inch that the second measurement is larger than the first measurement a cup size is added. So if the first measurement is 36 and the second measurement is 37 then it would be an A cup and the bra size would be a 36 A.

How to know her cup size?

It goes like this, if the difference between 1st measurement and 2nd measurement is:

under 7.5 cm (approx. 2.95 inch) ~ AA

under 10 cm (approx. 3.94 inch) ~ A

under 12.5 cm (approx. 4.92 inch) ~ B

under 15 cm (approx. 5.91 inch) ~ C

under 17.5 cm (approx. 6.89 inch) ~ D

under 20 cm (approx. 7.87 inch) ~ E

under 22.5 cm (approx. 8.86) ~ F

Ok, to make it simpler, A is just under a hand full of that. B is a nice handful, C is maybe two handfuls and D and up you just need a wheelbarrow! gyahaha. For instance, when a bra says, 36B, 36 is how many inches all the way around the girls rib cage, and B is the size of the womans breast that go in the "cup" to hold them suckers up..got it?

Lemme tell you something funny, according to the stats..our country average breast cup size is A (what??). Less than 5% of the women in our country have a D cup and of that 5% most of them have a rib measurement 38 and above (another meaning: fatty). And most of the sales are probably to old women..kinda sucks isn't it?

So, it's a rare for 32 or 34 to get a D~F cup unless your country is America..haha (an implant maybe).

And only 10% of the women have C cups, so if the number isn't 38 and it's about 32 or 34 that an amazing body!

Having said that, women who got the 34D is surely a goddess! Gyahaha!

However, please keep in mind..different countries hold a different measurement units and standards. Here is the table of bra measurement in some other countries

View bra size
Underbust  (CM)	Home Past (CM)	Japan	France	America	Europe
63-67	77-79	A65	80A	30A	65A
	79-81	B65	80B	30B	65B
	81-83	C65	80C	30C	65C
	83-85	D65	80D	30D	65D
	85-87	E65	80DD	30DD	65DD
68-72	82-84	A70	85A	32A	70A
	84-86	B70	85B	32B	70B
	86-88	C70	85C	32C	70C
	88-90	D70	85D	32D	70D
	90-92	E70	85DD	32DD	70DD
73-77	87-89	A75	90A	34A	75A
	89-91	B75	90B	34B	75B
	91-93	C75	90C	34C	75C
	93-95	D75	90D	34D	75D
	95-97	E75	90DD	34DD	75DD
78-82	92-94	A80	95A	36A	80A
	94-96	B80	95B	36B	80B
	96-98	C80	95C	36C	80C
	98-100	D80	95D	36D	80D
	100-102	E80	95DD	36DD	80DD
83-87	97-99	A85	100A	38A	85A
	99-101	B85	100B	38B	85B
	101-103	C85	100C	38C	85C
	103-105	D85	100D	38D	85D
	105-107	E85	100DD	38DD	85DD
88-92	102-104	A90	105A	40A	90A
	104-106	B90	105B	40B	90B
	106-108	C90	105C	40C	90C
	108-110	D90	105D	40D	90D
	110-112	E ninety	105DD	40DD	90DD

50 things girls should know about guys

1. Guys aren’t psychic, mind telling them what you mean?

2. Guys don’t like to be used as pawns in trying to make your friends jealous.

3. Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too possessive. Better watch out girls.

4. The biggest turn off for guys is to see girls smoking.

5. The biggest turn on for guys are the girls who workout.

6. Girls who don’t want to listen to the truth shouldn’t be asking any questions.

7. Ending a heated conversation with “Fine” or “Whatever” isn’t considered acceptable.

8. If you want sex, just ask.

9. Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. It takes 10 couples to come up with one sweet thing that they put up in the movies.

10. Only models are able to carry off most of the stuff you see in fashion magazines.

11. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.

12. A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a couple of roses.

13. Guys need to be reassured often that they’re still loved.

14. Guys don’t care about how gorgeous you are, it’s goodbye, adios, and sayonara if you’re being a bitch.

15. All guys are kinky and willing to try anything that you may enjoy, just let them know.

16. Guys are more emotional than you think. If they loved you at one point, it’ll take them a lot longer than you think to let you go, and it hurts every second that they try.

17. A guy would do just about anything to get you to notice him.

18. Guys do not look into minute detailing. So, if you gave up a quarter of an inch from your 20 inches long hair, don’t expect your guy to know that instantly.

19. Guys like porn!

20. Anything said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.

21. “The game is on” will be considered an acceptable excuse to postpone any serious conversations.

22. Cooking makes a girl all the more attractive.

23. You can’t get mad if your guy refuses to hook up your “ugly friend” with one of his good-looking friends.

24. Nothing you will ever do will entitle you to operate the remote control, unless operating means handing it to him.

25. The only thing left to be said after sex is “goodnight.”

26. Video games have helped men develop awesome finger skills that only encourage them to play more often.

27. Critiquing a man’s driving is outright unacceptable.

28. Guys’ night outs are sacred events. If you ask any question about it, you’ll be castigated.

29. Believe it or not, 99.5% of the time men honestly don’t mean to hurt you.

30. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

31. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest.

32. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don’t need to give advice.

33. Don’t hold it against your guy if he starts to cry after a good sports movie, and was laughing outrageously last night when the two of you were watching an emotional drama saga.

34. Leaving a message like “You know what?! Mmm… Never mind…” would make a guy hanging on to that thought all day long and reach a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. Don’t ever do that!

35. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.

36. Guys love you more than you love them.

37. No matter how much guys talk about hotness or sex appeal, personality is key.

38. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.

39. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn’t happen that often, so when it does, you know something’s up.

40. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.

41. Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.

42. You like when your guy calls and asks you out for dinner and pays for you, right? Well yeah, guys like it once in a while too.

43. It’s natural for a guy’s eyes to wander.

44. It’s not that guys don’t want to make their girlfriends happy; it’s just that sometimes, they don’t know how.

45. A guy would give his right arm to be able to read a girl’s mind for a day.

46. Not all guys are jerks. Just because one is a jackass doesn’t mean he represents all of them.

47. When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he isn’t doing it all for sex. It means he likes you more than you can imagine.

48. Even if you dumped a guy months ago and he loved you, he probably still does and if he had one wish it would be to have you back in his life.

49. Guys love girls with brains more than girls in miniskirts.

50. A guy would waste his time over video games and football, the way a girl would do over novels and make-ups.

Source & credit : e-mail

Hmm?? hoho..really? (do u get it?)

Let's play a game!

Kamu percaya atau tidak kalau saya cakap setiap orang hanya ada satu pandangan tentang sesuatu benda@perkara dan tidak mungkin boleh lebih dari satu.. Baik la, kamu semua try test ini kalau tidak pecaya.

WARNING: Don't cheat! Because if you do, the test will be no fun at all.

There are no Tricks to the test. Read this sentence 3-5times:

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE- 

SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIF- 

IC STUDY COMBINED WITH 

THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.

Now count aloud the F's in that sentence. Important, count them ONLY ONCE: do not go back and count them again..hehe!

Just a thought

Breaking Bad

Hello there, lama pula tidak update blog ni kan. Yalor, FYI kan last week kami ada audit bah, and for the last 2 weeks we've been prepared untuk menghadap audit ni. Nah, kamurang tau juga kan macam mana sibuk kalau ada audit ni. Biasa la, time mau audit baru la semua pun mau buat..itu la ..ini la..haiihh bikin penat badan saja.

Okay.. hari ni saya bukan mau cerita pasal audit, saya mau buat review la kunun2 ni..review tv series yang saya tengah siok layan sekarang.

Tada~..ini la dia..

Ok, saya mau cerita pasal tv series Breaking Bad ni. Cerita dia ni tentang seorang cikgu kimia yang genius (school teacher). Kehidupan seharian dia boleh diikatakan agak normal, sehinggalah satu hari segala-galanya berubah apabila dia disahkan menghidapi kanser paru2. Setelah dia sedar dia tidak akan hidup lama dia mengambil keputusan untuk buat apa sahaja supaya anak dan bini dia dapat 'survive' dari segi kewangan dimasa ketiadaannya nanti. So, berbekalkan pengetahuan yang dia ada, dia bertekad untuk producing and selling methamphetamine (syabu/batu/ice) with his former student.

Well, quite interesting isn't it? Hehe..saya pun baru juga browse wiki tentang drama ni..tv series ni banyak kena puji oleh movie critics walaupun plot cerita yang agak controversial..hehe.
 
Despite all that, tv series ni dapat menang banyak award and nominations..rasanya cerita ni tidak akan dia tayangkan di tv malaysia sebab cerita@isu dia agak sentitif (drug), lagipun malaysia kan agak conservative sikit kalau benda2 gini ni - that goes without saying. But that's only assumption i guess, we still don't know for sure.

Well, honestly la kan, for me it's not a big deal really, kalau saya berada dalam situasi yang sama maybe saya pun mo try juga buat gini..-if only i got the courage.. :p.. (hehe..u see what i mean? that's my point here, such influence is not good for people u know). Bah cemana, berminat? apa tunggu lagi..pi la donlot! hehe.

source: wikipedia & google image

Tanda Lelaki Tiada Duit

Halo..ehehe..saya ada tips mau sharing dengan kamu ni, iaitu tanda-tanda mengenalpasti bf/suami/kenalan anda tiada duit.

Isu duit ni memang agak sensitif bagi lelaki, jarang sekali untuk lelaki mengakui dirinya tiada duit (atau sedang berjimat). Biasa mereka yang tiada duit akan memberi 1001 satu alasan untuk mengelak gf/isteri/kawan dari mengajaknya untuk melakukan aktiviti yang mengeluarkan duit.

Sebagai satu contoh pabila anda mengajak dia makan tengahari dia akan jawab "Ala geng, saya lupa bawak dompet la ni ari.." Jawapan lawak?? Ya, ini adalah perkara biasa dan salah satu cara dia mau bagitau orang dia sebenarnya tiada duit tanpa memalukan diri sendiri..hehehe.

Kebiasaannya diorang akan beri alasan kurang logik/lawak untuk mengelakkan situasi serius dan kekok supaya orang dari tidak bersimpati terhadap dirinya (well..semua org tau lelaki adalah spesis yg ego).

Disini beberapa contoh tanda kalau dia tiada duit:

Rajin mengemas rumah

Apabila hujung minggu, si dia memberi alasan yang dia ingin mengemas rumah dan malas mau keluar rumah.

Padahal kamu tau dia bukan jenis suka mengemas rumah/bilik. Rumah/bilik pun macam zoo, kalau ada singa sesat pun belum tentu jumpa kan.







Minat tengok DVD atau movie?

Sekiranya anda perasan lelaki suka membeli DVD tapi jarang sekali menontonnya kecuali di waktu lapang tapi sewaktu dia tiada duit, DVD adalah teman sejatinya.

Bagi mereka menonton DVD di rumah lebih memberi lebih banyak kelebihan daripada keluar berjalan atau menonton wayang.





Makan di gerai murah

Sebelum ini, mungkin dia selalu ajak kamu makan di restoran-restoran yang ada 'class' atau paling tidak pun akan membawa kamu makan ditempat-tempat ber'ekon'.

Tetapi kali ini, dia mengambil keputusan membawa kamu ke gerai murah atas alasan makanan disana sedap atau sekadar ingin ubah selera.






Bawak bekal

Jika sebelum ni dia selalu turun makan breakfast/tengahari. Tapi waktu sesak jangan hairan jika dia tiba2 sahaja bawak bekal/tapau p kelas/opis.

Jika ditanya dia akan jawab "Oh, malam tadi saya masak banyak, so rugi pula kalau buang..alang2 bagus saya buat bekal kan"






Pulang awal

Selepas menjemput kamu dari pejabat, dia terus membawa kamu pulang ke rumah. Padahal, kebiasaannya dia selalu membawa kamu keluar minum petang sebelum balik.

Alasannya: “Sebenarnya, saya cadang mo bawak ko minum petang, tapi saya rasa tidak sedap badan bah..besok2 la ya” ataupun "Ala,saya cadang mo bawak ko makan petang, tapi jalan jammed pula ni..takut nanti 'stuck' dalam traffic jam pula kalau lambat"


"Terlupa" hadiah harijadi

Selama ini, si dia tidak pernah ketinggalan memberi hadiah menjelang ulang tahun kamu berdua atau menjelang hari-hari istimewa. Tetapi kali ini, si dia hanya memberikan ucapan dan membawa kamu p belanja makan tanpa pemberian sebarang hadiah

Alasannya: “Susa o mau cari hadiah ko, tu ari ada saya jumpa di kedai c anu..tp suda sold out, nanti la ah”




Menasihati kamu setiap kali ingin membeli sesuatu

Si dia kelihatan tidak tenang apabila kamu mengajaknya ke pusat beli-belah. Mungkin si dia takut apabila kamu menyuruhnya membelikan sesuatu untuk kamu klu p shopping.

Dia akan tnya " Eeee... penting sangat ka ko beli ni..baik ko fikir2 dulu..membazir seja"







Hanya menemani

“Sori, saya sudah makan di rumah tadi sebelum keluar, saya teman kamu makan saja ya?”

Itulah jawapannya ketika kamu mengajaknya makan di luar. Dengan kata ‘menemani’, ia bererti tiada keperluan untuknya membelanja kamu. Bijak kan.












SMS sahaja

Kebiasaannya, setiap saat dan minit si dia rajin menelefon kamu, tetapi kali ini dia lebih gemar menghantar mesej menerusi khidmat pesanan ringkas atau SMS.

Alasannya: “Kita main sms saja la ah, murah sikit, boleh jimat dan banyak boleh taip.”












Kereta rosak

Tanpa kamu bertanya, si dia menceritakan soal berkaitan keretanya yang kian meragam. “Selalunya ok saja, tetapi hari ini saya terdengar bunyi lain2 dalam enjin, takutnya… kenapa ini.”

Begitulah alasannya. Si dia mungkin sukar berterus-terang kepada kamu tentang masalah kewangannya dan dia pasti akan beri kamu "clue". (paham-paham la bah)










Pandai hilang dari meja makan

Dia akan mengelak kamu/kawan2 ketika waktu membayar bil, tiba-tiba saja mau pigi toilet la, pergi ambil barang la..ada saja alasan yang akan dia guna. Kalau  tidak pun dia akan sengaja lambat2 kasi keluar wallet.

Ayatnya lebih kurang gini la "Aduh, kejap ah..kamu/ko kasi settle bill dulu la..saya sakit perut ni, mo pi toilet jap"






Penampilan tidak terurus

Bagi lelaki masalah duit adalah sesuatu yang serius dan secara tidak langsung boleh memberi effect terhadap penampilan mereka, si dia juga akan jadi malas mau jaga penampilan. Dia menjadi kurang kemas dan rambut kusut masai dengan unshaven facial hair.
Selain dari itu, si dia juga akan jadi lebih moody dan pendiam.









 Downgrade' rokok

Jika sebelum ni dia dengan selamba mengisap rokok Dunhil, Marlboro, yang berharga RM 10, secara tiba2 dia akan hisap rokok murah (smuggle) seperti 'Era, Premium, John, League' dan banyak lagi jenama rokok yang anda tidak pernah dengar. Itu bererti dia dalam kesempitan duit/ berjimat la tu. Dalam erti kata lain "tiada duit".

Marshall Bruce Mathers III and Ryan Daniel Montgomery feat. Peter Gene Hernandez

Dengar ni lagu terus macam mau rapping sama2 c Eminem ni..haha! Sure bruno, i will light up my lighter for ya (er, sounds don't kinda gay pla..haha!). BTW, Enjoy guys! :D

[Hook: Bruno Mars]
This ones for you and me living out our dreams
We're all right where we should be
With my arms out wide, I open my eyes and now all I wanna see
Is a sky full of lighters, a sky full of lighters

[Verse 1: Eminem]
By the time you hear this, I woulda already spiraled up
I would never do nothing to let you cowards f*ck my world up
If I was you I would duck, or get struck like lightnin’
Fighters keep fightin’, put you lighters up, point them skyward, uh
Had a dream I was king, I woke up still king
Rap game’s nipple is mine for the milking
'til nobody else even f*ckin’ feels me, 'til it kills me
I swear to God I’ll be the f*ckin’ illest in this music
There is, or there ever will be, disagree? Feel free
But from now on I’m refusing to ever give up
Only thing I ever gave up’s using, no more excuses
Excuse me, if my head is too big for this building
And pardon me if I’m a cocky prick, but you cocks are slick
Poppin’ shit on how you flipped your life around, crock of shit
Who you dicks tryna kid? Flip d*ck you did opposite
You stayed the same, cause cock backwards is still cock you pricks
I love it when I tell them shove it cause it wasn’t that
Long ago when Marshall sat flustered, lacked luster
Cause he couldn’t cut mustard, muster up nothing
Brain fuzzy cause he’s buzzin’, woke up from that buzzin’
Now you wonder why he does it how he does it? Wasn’t cause he had buzzards
Circling around his head waiting for him to drop dead, was it?
Or was it cause some b*tches wrote him off? Little hussy ass scuzzes
F*ck it, guess it doesn’t matter now, does it?
What difference it make? What’s it take to get it through your thick skulls
That this ain’t, some bullshit people don’t usually come back this way
From a place that was dark as I was in just to get to this place
Now let these words be like a switchblade to a hater’s ribcage
And let be known from this day forward, I wanna just say thanks
Cause your hate is what gave me the strength
So let them Bics raise cause I came with 5'9" but I feel like I’m 6'8"

[Hook]
This ones for you and me living out our dreams
We're all right where we should be
With my arms out wide, I open my eyes and now all I wanna see
Is a sky full of lighters, a sky full of lighters

[Verse 2: Royce]
By the time you hear this I probably already be outty
I advance like going from toting iron
To goin and buying 4 or 5 of the homies the Iron Man Audi
My daddy told me slow down boy, you're going to blow it
And I ain't gotta stop the beat a minute
To tell Shady I love the same way that he did Dr. Dre on the Chronic
Tell him how real he is or how high I am
Or how I would kill for him, for him to know it
I cried plenty tears, my daddy gotta bad back
So it's only right, that I write till he can march right
In to that post office and tell 'em to hang it up
Now his career's Lebron's Jersey in 20 years
I stop when I'm at the very top
You shitted on me on your way up, there's bout to be a scary drop
Cause what goes up, must come down
You goin down I'm something you don't wanna see, like a hairy box
Every hour, happy hour now, life is wacky now
Used to have to eat the cat to get the pussy
Now I'm just the cat's meow, oow, I'm classic now
Always down for the catchweight, like Pacquiao
Y'all are doomed, I remember when T-Pain ain't wanna work with me
My car starts itself, parks itself and auto-tunes
Cause now I'm in the Aston, I went from having my city locked up
To getting treated like Kwame Kilpatrick
And now I'm fantastic, compared to a weed high
And y'all n*ggas just gossiping like b*tches
On a radio and TV, see me, we fly
Y'all buggin out like Wendy Williams staring at a bee hive
And how real is that? I remember signing my first deal
Now I'm the second best, I can deal with that
Now Bruno can show his ass, without the MTV awards gag

[Bridge: Bruno Mars]
You and I know what it's like
To be kicked down, forced to fight
But tonight, we're all right
So hold up your lights, let it shine, because

[Hook]
This ones for you and me living out our dreams
We're all right where we should be
With my arms out wide, I open my eyes and now all I wanna see
Is a sky full of lighters, a sky full of lighters

Arghh!

 

Urgg..i'm so hungry i could eat a horse!!

Uneasiness; Why Can't I Have It Both Ways

Hello liang moi and liang chai out there..

Actually saya dalam dilema sekarang ni..kamu mo tau dilemma tentang apa?
Saya dilemma mau pilih yang mana satu yang sesuai dengan saya....

Saya suka si dia coz.. dia simple yet stylish, cute yet matured, and dia juga never fails to make me smile..walaupun suda agak lama saya kenal dia, dia tetap membuatkan jantung saya berdegup2 bila bersama..kalau saya bawa dia p mana2 pun saya rasa bangga, mesti org selalu tengok2 saya dan jeles..

The other one also tidak kurang istimewanya..si dia tidak cerewet dan dari sejarahnya yang lampau saya tau dia jenis yang setia, dia memahami perasaan & jiwa saya..dan mempunyai ciri2 idaman saya, saya dapat merasakan yang saya tidak akan menyesal kemudian hari jika saya pilih dia..

Hmmmm..rasanya tidak perlu la saya rahsiakan lagi. Well, yes..i've fallen in love with both of em', which is a very dangerous situation..

Apakah perlu saya memilih keduanya..but hangus la poket ni klu gini?..huhu.

                     ASUS U46SV                               VS.                            Apple Macbook Air

Wordless Wednesday: Myvi Hybrid Limited Edition

This Song Just Made My Day :D

Oh, well, my day was made better because of this song..mood pun hepi-hepi sja mcm mo menari ni..i don't know why..padahal lama suda pun lagu ni kuar kan..tiba2 jadi best pla..ada happy drug mengkali dalam ni lagu kan..hahaha! Enjoy!! lalalala.. :D

[Verse 1]

Just shoot for the stars

If it feels right

Then aim for my heart

If you feel like

And take me away, make it okay

I swear I'll behave

You wanted control

So we waited

I put on a show

Now I make it

You say I'm a kid

My ego is big

I don't give a sh*t

And it goes like this

[Chorus]

Take me by the tongue

And I'll know you

Kiss me till you're drunk

And I'll show you

You want the moves like jagger

I've got the moves like jagger

I've got the mooooooves... like jagger

I don't need try to control you

Look into my eyes and I'll own you

With them the moves like jagger

I've got the moves like jagger

I've got the mooooooves... like jagger

[Verse 2]

Maybe it's hard

When you feel like you're broken and scarred

Nothing feels right

But when you're with me

I make you believe

That I've got the key

So get in the car

We can ride it

Wherever you want

Get inside it

And you want to steer

But I'm shifting gears

I'll take it from here

And it goes like this

[Chorus]

Take me by the tongue

And I'll know you

Kiss me till you're drunk

And I'll show you

You want the moves like jagger

I've got the moves like jagger

I've got the mooooooves... like jagger

I don't need try to control you

Look into my eyes and I'll own you

With them the moves like jagger

I've got the moves like jagger

I've got the mooooooves... like jagger

[Bridge]

You wanna know how to make me smile

Take control, own me just for the night

And if I share my secret

You're gonna have to keep it

Nobody else can see this

So watch and learn

I won't show you twice

Head to toe, ooh baby, roll me right

And if I share my secret

You're gonna have to keep it

Nobody else can see this

And it goes like this

[Chorus]

Take me by the tongue

And I'll know you

Kiss me till you're drunk

And I'll show you

You want the moves like jagger

I've got the moves like jagger

I've got the mooooooves... like jagger

I don't need try to control you

Look into my eyes and I'll own you

With them the moves like jagger

I've got the moves like jagger

I've got the mooooooves... like jagger

GF, BF dan Rokok

Sepasang kekasih di kedai makan.

GF : ko taw ka ni rokok buli buat ko cepat mati

BF : manada!..jodoh ajal maut semua tuhan yg tentukan

GF : hmmmm...brapa banyak suda duit ko abis bikin beli rokok

BF : satu kotak Dunhill RM10.

GF : satu hari satu kotak seminggu RM70. Sebulan RM2,100. Setahun RM25,200...bila syg mula isap rokok??

BF : pandai math ko ni...dari tingkatan 2.napa?

GF : sekarang syg punya umur 24. 24- 14=10. pastu RM25,200 darab dengan 10 dapat RM252,000! dlm tempoh 10 dapat RM252,000! banyak kan duit yg suda ko bazirkn dlm 10 tahun ni

BF : so? ada sa minta duit ko ka bikin beli rokok?tedakan?!

GF : memang la..tapi kalau ko tia merokok dan ko simpan duit sekarang ko buli suda beli skyline ka..evo ka.. semua buli..!

BF : ayang isap rokok ka?

GF : tak sayang... napa juga ko tanya?

BF : kalau ko tia isap rokok mcm sa...mana Skyline ko?evo ka..?lamborgini ka ?

GF : !@#$%^&*




Credit to : Cinta-Slang Sabah Bah Ni..Ko Jangan!

Orkes Akiuku

Tadi pusing2 internet (surfing the net), saya terbuka youtube..and then terjumpa satu band@group ni, they called it Orkes Akiuku (Sabah Ukulele Group). Dari apa yang stated dalam page diorang, akiuku ni berasal dari perkataan aki-nabalu dan ukulele, disebabkan passion durang terhadap ukulele they come to gather from all around sabah dan seterusnya menubuhkan satu kelab @ group bernama Orkes Akiuku. So yeah, they are 100% made in sabah..hehe. Muzik diorang agak menarik dan unik sebab diorang perform guna gitar kecil (ukulele) dan instrument-instrument ala Hawaian yang lain.

Saya tau, alat@instrument ni memang suda lama wujud tapi sebelum ni saya tidak berapa ambil kisah pun..dari apa yang saya tengok diurang ni suka berkumpul dan buat street performance, which is very cooollll...kadang2 ada juga durang kena jemput buat show untuk sesuatu event..disebabkan group@band diorang ni sangat cooolll saya pun terus jadi minat ni (plus, dari sabah pula bah kan..hehe)..kita mesti sokong!! Kalau kamurang mau tau durang pun ada facebook page sendiri..so sepa2 yang meminati ukelele mo like FB diurang boleh la click sini..Ok, nuff said..mari kita tengok video diorang.

Gaji naik?? Wooohoo! Saya Sukuuunggg!

KUALA LUMPUR, 22 Sept — Datuk Seri Najib Razak sedang mempertimbangkan bonus lumayan atau kenaikan gaji bagi 1.3 juta kakitangan kerajaan — bakal diumumkan menerusi Bajet 2012 untuk menangani kenaikan kos sara hidup dan juga menjamin sokongan tenaga kerja sektor awam pada pilihan raya umum ke-13.

The Malaysian Insider difahamkan perdana menteri telah meminta Kementerian Kewangan agar mengkaji kos kedua-dua opsyen itu.

Langkah itu mirip pendekatan diambil bekas perdana menteri Tun Abdullah Ahmad Badawi pada 2007, setahun sebelum menjelang pilihan raya umum ke-12.

Ketika itu Abdullah mengumumkan kenaikan gaji bagi 1.02 juta kakitangan awam sehingga 35 peratus dan menaikkan kadar bantuan sara hidup sebanyak 100 peratus.

“Najib sedang mempertimbangkan bonus satu bulan setengah untuk dibayar akhir tahun ini atau menaikkan gaji apabila mengumumkan Bajet 2012. Ia bajet menggunakan segala wang yang ada,” kata satu sumber kepada The Malaysian Insider.

Najib (gambar) yang juga Menteri Kewangan akan membentangkan Bajet 2012 pada 7 Oktober ini.

Bulan lalu, kerajaan membayar bonus setengah bulan gaji dengan bayaran minimum RM500 kepada penjawat awam. Kerajaan juga bersetuju memberi bayaran khas sebanyak RM500 kepada pesara kerajaan.

Perdana Menteri berkata, kerajaan berharap pemberian bonus dan bayaran khas ini dapat meringankan beban penjawat awam dan pesara kerajaan dan membantu mereka membuat persediaan menyambut Aidilfitri. Ia melibatkan kerajaan kos RM2 bilion.

Kakitangan awam lazimnya dilihat sebagai asas sokongan bagi Barisan Nasional (BN) tetapi perikatan itu berhadapan dengan prestasi buruk pada Mac 2008 meskipun Abdullah mencatatkan penguasaan 91 peratus kerusi di Parlimen.

Najib berusaha untuk keluar daripada situasi 2008 dengan mengumumkan beberapa pembaharuan termasuk mahu memansuhkan beberapa undang-undang termasuk Akta Keselamatan Dalam Negeri sebagaimana diumumkan Khamis lalu.

“Perdana Menteri perlu mengatasi isu-isu asas termasuk ekonomi. Bajet akan mengatasi isu sara hodup selepas pemotongan subsidi baru-baru,” kata satu lagi sumber kepada The Malaysian Insider.

Baru-baru ini Cuepacs, kesatuan sekerja induk sektor awam, menuntut bonus dua bulan.

Oleh/Credit to: Jahabar Sadiq (Editor)

Sumber: The Malaysian Insider

3 Sekawan

Pada suatu hari ada 3 sekawan bernama Jeman, Kitol dan Sukiman lepak2 duduk minum di kedai kupi. Diorang pun bercerita la berjam-jam lamanya..sehingga sampai satu ketika diorang pun kehabisan topik untuk dibincangkan..maka diorang pun berpakat la untuk bermain teka teki.

gambar hiasan

Jeman: Ok kawan2 aku ada teka teki untuk kamu ni..

Kitol&Sukiman: Terus kan jeman..

Jeman: Banyak-banyak buah..buah apa yang pelik?

Kitol: Emmm..buah pelik? macam lain seja bunyinya ni jeman..
Sukiman: Yalaahh..ini teka teki lucah ka ni? hihi.

Jeman: Issshhh..tiada la..kamurang ni..jawab dulu la.

Kitol: Emm..buah manggis??
Sukiman: Buah gajus??

Jeman: Salahhh! cuba lagi, cuba lagi.

Kitol: Hah..buah fikiran!
Sukiman: Buah hati!

Jeman: Salah jugak! Lagi?

Kitol: Buah Karem!
Sukiman: Anak buah!

Jeman: Pun Salah!

Kitol: Haihh..aku surrender la..akun akun..
Sukiman: Aku pun la..jadi apa jawapan dia?

Jeman: Jawapan dia..jeng3.. Durian!!!

Kitol: Ehhh!! kenapa pula??
Sukiman: Yaaa..macam tida logik seja tu..sebab apa?

Jeman: Hah! kan kamu dua pelik aku cakap durian..buah pelik la tu! HAHAHA!

Kitol&Sukiman: &@#$!*$%!!

Zippy Ziggy!

Hi! Hi!

G'day everyone!

Kamurang mau tau..kelmarin saya terjumpa dan terbaca satu komik@manwha yang sangat2 best (well..for me la). I found this manga extremely hilarious and i just can't stop laughing my ass off! Macam urg gila ni ketawa saturang di rumah..hahaha..setiap beberapa page ada seja adegan yg buat saya ketawa.

Komik dia ni sangat lawak, cute, menarik n lukisan dia pun lawa(k). Btw, komik ni adalah korean manwha..bukan manga ahh..manwha (padahal maksud dia sama seja pun)..hehe.

Tajuk komik dia ialah Zippy Ziggy, plot cerita dia bukan saja menarik & lucu, ia juga tidak membosankan..kamu bayangkan seja la macam mana saya bulih baca komik ni dari balik kerja jam 6.00 ptg - 1.30 pagi..gila kan..haha..

Ya..addictive level komik ni memang tinggi..jadi untuk sepa2 yang banyak kerja di rumah. buat la kerja dulu..takut nanti kamu "stuck" pla depan pc@laptop baca manwha ni..Em, kira lama juga la saya tida baca komik yang best macam begini..bah, tida payah panjang cerita, kamu baca la sinopsis dia ni..

Reputation is everything in a world of icons and popularity contests. So why not score some points here and there by being the nice guy? This is the way Shinghi Ghang legitimizes the fake personality he has everyone believing. Armed with his above average looks and a (completely false) angel-like personality, he has every girl in school head over heels, and all the guys looking to him for guidance. With the exception of having a screwed up cross-dressing devil for a dad, Shinghi's life is absolute perfection (*cough* of lies) until one day, Sung-Hae transfers to his school.

While being a complete martial artist freak, she also likes to fib just a little in front of those who know her.... you know, like acting like she's just a scared little girl who'd play with kittens rather than break brick walls with her head~! After all, how can anything go wrong when you're as cute as Sung-Hae?

Fate has brought these two masters of lies together and the two must battle it out to see who will be crowned the undefeated heavy-weight champion of fakeness!

Wokey! bagi sesiapa yang mau try baca boleh la baca secara online di mangareaders.net ^_^

That's all! Thx for reading :)

Legendary Samurai Duel

Oyen: Once upon a time, there are two legendary swordmen had a duel...

because they were so evenly matched, the duel would have ended with the first draw. So they waited for each other to let down their guard for a month.

Aki: And then what happened?

Oyen: They both starved to death.

Aki: . . . . . . . . .

p/s: cerita rekaan semata-mata

Jalan jalan cari mamam!

hoho..holo everybody,

did u guys miss me? haha. :p lama pla tida update blog kan..i'm at my home town rite now..wait for it...Taaaawwaau..haha!

Saya rasa sangat seronok n busy sampai tiada masa langsung mau update blog, lagipun di sini internet connection sgt lembab so malas la saya mau update blog..hehe. sejak beberapa hari di sini saya asyik makan seja..gumuk suda nie..hehehe.

Kalau kamu nie jenis suka jalan2 cari makan..tawau is the best place for ya..Tawau is truly food heaven..semua makanan d sini sedap2 n murah..especially seafood!! (at least 30% cheaper than kk)..ceh, sempat lagi promote home town sendiri ni..haha.bah, kamu mau tau apa yang saya mkn..tgk picture ni..

This is the place, Kam Ling Fresh Seafood

Baru seja sampai nie

Pekerja dia suda start busy

Masih awal baini, belum ramai orang

1st main dish: Ikan merah masak tauchung

Ready to be 'mamam'

2nd main dish: Butter Prawn...yummy!!

5 star!!

3rd lauk: Sotong crispy

p/s: belum sempat snap pic, sotong suda kena curi 2 ekor..hehe.

Sayur paku masak belacan, tida order byk pun sebab my other siblings tida suka mkn sayur

Siput tarik (cecah dengan lada+halia+cuka??)

Potage du jour: Crab corn soup

my favourite soup ever!

After that, a few days later kami pegi makan di indo cafe pla..my new favourite place to lepaking..the food sgt-sgt marvelous..hoho!

Ini la tempat dia

The owner (maybe??)

Menu

Menu list

Banana Cheese Fritters (Pisang goreng cheese)

Nyummm..

close-up!

Mango sago..super delicious!

Mango sago anyone?! hehe.

Kicap made in tawau!

Nasi goreng butter prawn (highly recommended)

Teh C Special 

(gambar tersesat dari kedai kopi yuan yuan..hehe)

Haha..so mcm mn? ada suda sepa2 yang keluar liur? sorry guys!..hahaha..
ok la, thats all..see ya!