Once Upon a Time..

Once upon a time..*silent laugh* ada 3 sekawan ini..si lawyer,si cikgu dan si doktor..durang ni kawan baik..kalau balik rumah pun selalu sama2..

Kisahnya bermula begini..pada satu malam...3 sekawan ni balik lewat...durang punya rumah di tingkat 60..

Pada malam itu diurang amat susah hati sebab pak guard bilang durang punya lift malam tu rusak...
So untuk kasi hilang penat jalan naik tangga durang berbincang la kan.. jadi begini lah lebih kurang dialog dia.. 

Lawyer: Apa macam kita mo naik ni..rumah kita tingkat 60.. pingsan lah kita ni.. penat baitu kerja tadi siang...

Doktor: Jangan ko risau bah.. mari kita cerita-cerita lucu sambil naik tangga..

Cikgu: Aiyak.. mana bulih geng.. kalau cerita lucu.. nanti baru tingkat satu.. kepenatan sudah kita ketawa.. nda bulih tu, nda bulih.

Lawyer: Jadi macam mana lah ni.. 

Cikgu: Bah... sa ada satu idea. apa kata kalau kita cerita2 sedih.. kalau cerita sedih mesti kita cepat sampai tu..

(durang 3 urang pun setuju cerita sedih..padahal masih lagi durang di ground floor ni)

Lawyer: Jadi sa mula la ah..begini bah..waktu sa kecil dulu kan.. bapak sa meninggal kan..
sa saturang saja pi sikul.. huhuhu..sudahlah sa miskin, mo kena rajin belajar..lepas tu sa kena kerja jadi kuli2 kaling lagi.. sedih oo..

(si cikgu & si doktor nangis sudah..inda tahan durang dengar ni cerita)

Cikgu: Bro, sudah lah tu.. tingkat 40 sudah kita ni huhu..

Doktor: Wahh.. butul bah cakap ko..inda sedar tingkat 40 sudah...betul2 inda rasa ni..bah kalau begitu sa mula la ah..cerita sa lagi sedih oo..

Masa sa kecik kan...mama sa meninggal.. tinggal sama  atuk. sa dipukul...makcik sa bagus tapi kalau dia kesian atau tulung sa kan, dia sendiri pun kena pukul sama atuk sa..bengis oo atuk sa.. sebab itu sa mo jadi doktor sebab kalau makcik sa sakit kena pukul.. sa bulih ubat dia.. huhuhu

(si lawyer sama si cikgu pun sedih)

Lawyer: Ish sedih bah cerita ko ni..*sob-sob*.. jangan la ko sambung..tingkat 55 sudah kita ni.. biar si cikgu kasi habis cerita.. inda sanggup sa dengar ko punya cerita..

Jalan punya jalan..
Si lawyer sama si doktor kasi 'push' itu cikgu supaya cerita sedih..
Sampai di tingkat 59 baru dia start buka cerita..

Cikgu : Sia punya cerita lagi sedih..mesti kamurang menangis darah ni kalau dengar..

Doktor & Lawyer : Kenapa geng?

Cikgu : Kunci rumah kita tertinggal dalam kereta.........




the end..


editted by me
credit + original: en kacang (SabahForum)

Medicine is the best laughter

Good News

The doctor took his patient into the room and said, “I have some good news and some bad news.”

The patient said, “Give me the good news.”

“They're going to name a disease after you.”

Advantage of Jargons

A man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do.

When the exam was complete, he said, “Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me.”

“Well, in plain English,” the doctor said, “you're just lazy.”

“Okay,” said the man. “Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife.”

The Price of Choice

The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant.” You have your choice of two brains,” he told the patient, “For $1000 you can have the brain of a psychologist, or for $10,000 you can have the brain of a politician.”

The patient was amazed at the huge difference in price. “Is the brain of a politician that much better?” he asked.

The Brain Surgeon replied, “No, it's not better, just unused.”

Insurance Proceeds

A doctor had just bought a villa on the French Riviera, when met an old lawyer friend whom he hadn't seen in years, and they started talking. The lawyer, as it turned out, owned a nearby villa. They discussed how they came to retire to the Riviera.

“Remember that lousy office complex I bought?” asked the lawyer, “Well, it caught fire, and I retired here with the fire insurance proceeds. What are you doing here?”

The doctor replied, “Remember that real estate I had in Mississippi? Well, the river overflowed, and here I am with the flood insurance proceeds. It's amazing that we both ended up here in pretty much the same way.”

“It sure is,” the lawyer replied, looking puzzled, “but I'm confused about one thing – how do you start a flood?”


Source & Credit : Email

Wet Clothes and Bras

Hello my loyal readers (mcm trip2 top pla ni kan) today's topic/entry will be about XXXX!
Hahaha..teda la..It's just some nice-to-know info saja bah..boleh kan?

My entry here is for education purpose only ok..so don't get me wrong ah girls? And this is my very first english entry...so everyone, just bear with me. Dont judge! hahahaha xDD (terutamanya cigu2 inggeris..hehe)! Your kind cooperation is, as always, very much appreciated. Heeehe.

Wet Clothes

Did you know, most men find the sight of a woman wearing clinging, soaking wet clothes a tremendous turn on.Wet clothes catch a men attention more than any other clothes. It is a effective weapon to seduce a men. In fact, men are even more aroused if the drenching is apparently spontaneous.

Women in europe have realized this fact more than 2 centuries ago. They have a trend of wetting their clothes before going out and the trend keep going in the winter.

Some of them got cold and some even died because at that time a fever was enough to kill someone. But, as they say fashion rises from pain, a cold is nothing. I wish that trend would come once again. :p

Bras for dummies

All men love boobs but they are so clueless and confused when it comes to bra size (36C. 32A etc etc). So, out of courtesy to my fellow brothers (ececeh)..i'm willing to share some of my sacred + divine wisdom to them (especially to aki) after doing a considerably intense trawling on the net..gyahaha.

Alright guys.. first of all, in order to determine a bra size (such as 32, 34, 36,38  refers to the size of the band to fit all the way around her) the measurements are taken around the rib cage right under the breast. 

Then in order to determine cup size (such as A,B,C,D,DD, refers to the size of the breast) another measurement is taken around the rib cage and breasts at the largest point (where they stick out the most). 

For each inch that the second measurement is larger than the first measurement a cup size is added. So if the first measurement is 36 and the second measurement is 37 then it would be an A cup and the bra size would be a 36 A.

How to know her cup size?

It goes like this, if the difference between 1st measurement and 2nd measurement is:

under 7.5 cm (approx. 2.95 inch) ~ AA

under 10 cm (approx. 3.94 inch) ~ A

under 12.5 cm (approx. 4.92 inch) ~ B

under 15 cm (approx. 5.91 inch) ~ C

under 17.5 cm (approx. 6.89 inch) ~ D

under 20 cm (approx. 7.87 inch) ~ E

under 22.5 cm (approx. 8.86) ~ F

Ok, to make it simpler, A is just under a hand full of that. B is a nice handful, C is maybe two handfuls and D and up you just need a wheelbarrow! gyahaha. For instance, when a bra says, 36B, 36 is how many inches all the way around the girls rib cage, and B is the size of the womans breast that go in the "cup" to hold them suckers up..got it?

Lemme tell you something funny, according to the stats..our country average breast cup size is A (what??). Less than 5% of the women in our country have a D cup and of that 5% most of them have a rib measurement 38 and above (another meaning: fatty). And most of the sales are probably to old women..kinda sucks isn't it?

So, it's a rare for 32 or 34 to get a D~F cup unless your country is America..haha (an implant maybe).

And only 10% of the women have C cups, so if the number isn't 38 and it's about 32 or 34 that an amazing body!

Having said that, women who got the 34D is surely a goddess! Gyahaha!

However, please keep in mind..different countries hold a different measurement units and standards. Here is the table of bra measurement in some other countries

View bra size
Underbust  (CM)	Home Past (CM)	Japan	France	America	Europe
63-67	77-79	A65	80A	30A	65A
	79-81	B65	80B	30B	65B
	81-83	C65	80C	30C	65C
	83-85	D65	80D	30D	65D
	85-87	E65	80DD	30DD	65DD
68-72	82-84	A70	85A	32A	70A
	84-86	B70	85B	32B	70B
	86-88	C70	85C	32C	70C
	88-90	D70	85D	32D	70D
	90-92	E70	85DD	32DD	70DD
73-77	87-89	A75	90A	34A	75A
	89-91	B75	90B	34B	75B
	91-93	C75	90C	34C	75C
	93-95	D75	90D	34D	75D
	95-97	E75	90DD	34DD	75DD
78-82	92-94	A80	95A	36A	80A
	94-96	B80	95B	36B	80B
	96-98	C80	95C	36C	80C
	98-100	D80	95D	36D	80D
	100-102	E80	95DD	36DD	80DD
83-87	97-99	A85	100A	38A	85A
	99-101	B85	100B	38B	85B
	101-103	C85	100C	38C	85C
	103-105	D85	100D	38D	85D
	105-107	E85	100DD	38DD	85DD
88-92	102-104	A90	105A	40A	90A
	104-106	B90	105B	40B	90B
	106-108	C90	105C	40C	90C
	108-110	D90	105D	40D	90D
	110-112	E ninety	105DD	40DD	90DD

50 things girls should know about guys

1. Guys aren’t psychic, mind telling them what you mean?

2. Guys don’t like to be used as pawns in trying to make your friends jealous.

3. Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too possessive. Better watch out girls.

4. The biggest turn off for guys is to see girls smoking.

5. The biggest turn on for guys are the girls who workout.

6. Girls who don’t want to listen to the truth shouldn’t be asking any questions.

7. Ending a heated conversation with “Fine” or “Whatever” isn’t considered acceptable.

8. If you want sex, just ask.

9. Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. It takes 10 couples to come up with one sweet thing that they put up in the movies.

10. Only models are able to carry off most of the stuff you see in fashion magazines.

11. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.

12. A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a couple of roses.

13. Guys need to be reassured often that they’re still loved.

14. Guys don’t care about how gorgeous you are, it’s goodbye, adios, and sayonara if you’re being a bitch.

15. All guys are kinky and willing to try anything that you may enjoy, just let them know.

16. Guys are more emotional than you think. If they loved you at one point, it’ll take them a lot longer than you think to let you go, and it hurts every second that they try.

17. A guy would do just about anything to get you to notice him.

18. Guys do not look into minute detailing. So, if you gave up a quarter of an inch from your 20 inches long hair, don’t expect your guy to know that instantly.

19. Guys like porn!

20. Anything said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.

21. “The game is on” will be considered an acceptable excuse to postpone any serious conversations.

22. Cooking makes a girl all the more attractive.

23. You can’t get mad if your guy refuses to hook up your “ugly friend” with one of his good-looking friends.

24. Nothing you will ever do will entitle you to operate the remote control, unless operating means handing it to him.

25. The only thing left to be said after sex is “goodnight.”

26. Video games have helped men develop awesome finger skills that only encourage them to play more often.

27. Critiquing a man’s driving is outright unacceptable.

28. Guys’ night outs are sacred events. If you ask any question about it, you’ll be castigated.

29. Believe it or not, 99.5% of the time men honestly don’t mean to hurt you.

30. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

31. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest.

32. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don’t need to give advice.

33. Don’t hold it against your guy if he starts to cry after a good sports movie, and was laughing outrageously last night when the two of you were watching an emotional drama saga.

34. Leaving a message like “You know what?! Mmm… Never mind…” would make a guy hanging on to that thought all day long and reach a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. Don’t ever do that!

35. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.

36. Guys love you more than you love them.

37. No matter how much guys talk about hotness or sex appeal, personality is key.

38. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.

39. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn’t happen that often, so when it does, you know something’s up.

40. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.

41. Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.

42. You like when your guy calls and asks you out for dinner and pays for you, right? Well yeah, guys like it once in a while too.

43. It’s natural for a guy’s eyes to wander.

44. It’s not that guys don’t want to make their girlfriends happy; it’s just that sometimes, they don’t know how.

45. A guy would give his right arm to be able to read a girl’s mind for a day.

46. Not all guys are jerks. Just because one is a jackass doesn’t mean he represents all of them.

47. When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he isn’t doing it all for sex. It means he likes you more than you can imagine.

48. Even if you dumped a guy months ago and he loved you, he probably still does and if he had one wish it would be to have you back in his life.

49. Guys love girls with brains more than girls in miniskirts.

50. A guy would waste his time over video games and football, the way a girl would do over novels and make-ups.

Source & credit : e-mail