Dec 16, 2011

Once Upon a Time..

Once upon a time..*silent laugh* ada 3 sekawan ini..si lawyer,si cikgu dan si doktor..durang ni kawan baik..kalau balik rumah pun selalu sama2..

Kisahnya bermula begini..pada satu malam...3 sekawan ni balik lewat...durang punya rumah di tingkat 60..


Pada malam itu diurang amat susah hati sebab pak guard bilang durang punya lift malam tu rusak...
So untuk kasi hilang penat jalan naik tangga durang berbincang la kan.. jadi begini lah lebih kurang dialog dia.. 

Lawyer: Apa macam kita mo naik ni..rumah kita tingkat 60.. pingsan lah kita ni.. penat baitu kerja tadi siang...

Doktor: Jangan ko risau bah.. mari kita cerita-cerita lucu sambil naik tangga..

Cikgu: Aiyak.. mana bulih geng.. kalau cerita lucu.. nanti baru tingkat satu.. kepenatan sudah kita ketawa.. nda bulih tu, nda bulih.

Lawyer: Jadi macam mana lah ni.. 

Cikgu: Bah... sa ada satu idea. apa kata kalau kita cerita2 sedih.. kalau cerita sedih mesti kita cepat sampai tu..

(durang 3 urang pun setuju cerita sedih..padahal masih lagi durang di ground floor ni)

Lawyer: Jadi sa mula la ah..begini bah..waktu sa kecil dulu kan.. bapak sa meninggal kan..
sa saturang saja pi sikul.. huhuhu..sudahlah sa miskin, mo kena rajin belajar..lepas tu sa kena kerja jadi kuli2 kaling lagi.. sedih oo..

(si cikgu & si doktor nangis sudah..inda tahan durang dengar ni cerita)

Cikgu: Bro, sudah lah tu.. tingkat 40 sudah kita ni huhu..

Doktor: Wahh.. butul bah cakap ko..inda sedar tingkat 40 sudah...betul2 inda rasa ni..bah kalau begitu sa mula la ah..cerita sa lagi sedih oo..

Masa sa kecik kan...mama sa meninggal.. tinggal sama  atuk. sa dipukul...makcik sa bagus tapi kalau dia kesian atau tulung sa kan, dia sendiri pun kena pukul sama atuk sa..bengis oo atuk sa.. sebab itu sa mo jadi doktor sebab kalau makcik sa sakit kena pukul.. sa bulih ubat dia.. huhuhu

(si lawyer sama si cikgu pun sedih)

Lawyer: Ish sedih bah cerita ko ni..*sob-sob*.. jangan la ko sambung..tingkat 55 sudah kita ni.. biar si cikgu kasi habis cerita.. inda sanggup sa dengar ko punya cerita..

Jalan punya jalan..
Si lawyer sama si doktor kasi 'push' itu cikgu supaya cerita sedih..
Sampai di tingkat 59 baru dia start buka cerita..

Cikgu : Sia punya cerita lagi sedih..mesti kamurang menangis darah ni kalau dengar..

Doktor & Lawyer : Kenapa geng?

Cikgu : Kunci rumah kita tertinggal dalam kereta.........




the end..


editted by me
credit + original: en kacang (SabahForum)

Dec 13, 2011

Medicine is the best laughter



Good News

The doctor took his patient into the room and said, “I have some good news and some bad news.”

The patient said, “Give me the good news.”

“They're going to name a disease after you.”

Advantage of Jargons

A man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do.

When the exam was complete, he said, “Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me.”

“Well, in plain English,” the doctor said, “you're just lazy.”

“Okay,” said the man. “Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife.”

The Price of Choice

The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant.” You have your choice of two brains,” he told the patient, “For $1000 you can have the brain of a psychologist, or for $10,000 you can have the brain of a politician.”

The patient was amazed at the huge difference in price. “Is the brain of a politician that much better?” he asked.

The Brain Surgeon replied, “No, it's not better, just unused.”

Insurance Proceeds

A doctor had just bought a villa on the French Riviera, when met an old lawyer friend whom he hadn't seen in years, and they started talking. The lawyer, as it turned out, owned a nearby villa. They discussed how they came to retire to the Riviera.

“Remember that lousy office complex I bought?” asked the lawyer, “Well, it caught fire, and I retired here with the fire insurance proceeds. What are you doing here?”

The doctor replied, “Remember that real estate I had in Mississippi? Well, the river overflowed, and here I am with the flood insurance proceeds. It's amazing that we both ended up here in pretty much the same way.”

“It sure is,” the lawyer replied, looking puzzled, “but I'm confused about one thing – how do you start a flood?”


Source & Credit : Email

Dec 8, 2011

Wet Clothes and Bras

Hello my loyal readers (mcm trip2 top pla ni kan) today's topic/entry will be about XXXX!
Hahaha..teda la..It's just some nice-to-know info saja bah..boleh kan?

My entry here is for education purpose only ok..so don't get me wrong ah girls? And this is my very first english entry...so everyone, just bear with me. Dont judge! hahahaha xDD (terutamanya cigu2 inggeris..hehe)! Your kind cooperation is, as always, very much appreciated. Heeehe.

Wet Clothes



Did you know, most men find the sight of a woman wearing clinging, soaking wet clothes a tremendous turn on.Wet clothes catch a men attention more than any other clothes. It is a effective weapon to seduce a men. In fact, men are even more aroused if the drenching is apparently spontaneous.


Women in europe have realized this fact more than 2 centuries ago. They have a trend of wetting their clothes before going out and the trend keep going in the winter.

Some of them got cold and some even died because at that time a fever was enough to kill someone. But, as they say fashion rises from pain, a cold is nothing. I wish that trend would come once again. :p









Bras for dummies



All men love boobs but they are so clueless and confused when it comes to bra size (36C. 32A etc etc). So, out of courtesy to my fellow brothers (ececeh)..i'm willing to share some of my sacred + divine wisdom to them (especially to aki) after doing a considerably intense trawling on the net..gyahaha.

Alright guys.. first of all, in order to determine a bra size (such as 32, 34, 36,38  refers to the size of the band to fit all the way around her) the measurements are taken around the rib cage right under the breast. 

Then in order to determine cup size (such as A,B,C,D,DD, refers to the size of the breast) another measurement is taken around the rib cage and breasts at the largest point (where they stick out the most). 

For each inch that the second measurement is larger than the first measurement a cup size is added. So if the first measurement is 36 and the second measurement is 37 then it would be an A cup and the bra size would be a 36 A.



How to know her cup size?

It goes like this, if the difference between 1st measurement and 2nd measurement is:

under 7.5 cm (approx. 2.95 inch) ~ AA
under 10 cm (approx. 3.94 inch) ~ A
under 12.5 cm (approx. 4.92 inch) ~ B
under 15 cm (approx. 5.91 inch) ~ C
under 17.5 cm (approx. 6.89 inch) ~ D
under 20 cm (approx. 7.87 inch) ~ E
under 22.5 cm (approx. 8.86) ~ F


Ok, to make it simpler, A is just under a hand full of that. B is a nice handful, C is maybe two handfuls and D and up you just need a wheelbarrow! gyahaha. For instance, when a bra says, 36B, 36 is how many inches all the way around the girls rib cage, and B is the size of the womans breast that go in the "cup" to hold them suckers up..got it?

Lemme tell you something funny, according to the stats..our country average breast cup size is A (what??). Less than 5% of the women in our country have a D cup and of that 5% most of them have a rib measurement 38 and above (another meaning: fatty). And most of the sales are probably to old women..kinda sucks isn't it?

So, it's a rare for 32 or 34 to get a D~F cup unless your country is America..haha (an implant maybe).

And only 10% of the women have C cups, so if the number isn't 38 and it's about 32 or 34 that an amazing body!
Having said that, women who got the 34D is surely a goddess! Gyahaha!
However, please keep in mind..different countries hold a different measurement units and standards. Here is the table of bra measurement in some other countries

View bra size
Underbust 
(CM)
Home Past
(CM)
Japan
France
America
Europe
63-67
77-79
A65
80A
30A
65A
79-81
B65
80B
30B
65B
81-83
C65
80C
30C
65C
83-85
D65
80D
30D
65D
85-87
E65
80DD
30DD
65DD
68-72
82-84
A70
85A
32A
70A
84-86
B70
85B
32B
70B
86-88
C70
85C
32C
70C
88-90
D70
85D
32D
70D
90-92
E70
85DD
32DD
70DD
73-77
87-89
A75
90A
34A
75A
89-91
B75
90B
34B
75B
91-93
C75
90C
34C
75C
93-95
D75
90D
34D
75D
95-97
E75
90DD
34DD
75DD
78-82
92-94
A80
95A
36A
80A
94-96
B80
95B
36B
80B
96-98
C80
95C
36C
80C
98-100
D80
95D
36D
80D
100-102
E80
95DD
36DD
80DD
83-87
97-99
A85
100A
38A
85A
99-101
B85
100B
38B
85B
101-103
C85
100C
38C
85C
103-105
D85
100D
38D
85D
105-107
E85
100DD
38DD
85DD
88-92
102-104
A90
105A
40A
90A
104-106
B90
105B
40B
90B
106-108
C90
105C
40C
90C
108-110
D90
105D
40D
90D
110-112
E ninety
105DD
40DD
90DD

Dec 7, 2011

50 things girls should know about guys


1. Guys aren’t psychic, mind telling them what you mean?

2. Guys don’t like to be used as pawns in trying to make your friends jealous.

3. Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too possessive. Better watch out girls.

4. The biggest turn off for guys is to see girls smoking.

5. The biggest turn on for guys are the girls who workout.

6. Girls who don’t want to listen to the truth shouldn’t be asking any questions.

7. Ending a heated conversation with “Fine” or “Whatever” isn’t considered acceptable.

8. If you want sex, just ask.

9. Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. It takes 10 couples to come up with one sweet thing that they put up in the movies.

10. Only models are able to carry off most of the stuff you see in fashion magazines.

11. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.

12. A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a couple of roses.

13. Guys need to be reassured often that they’re still loved.

14. Guys don’t care about how gorgeous you are, it’s goodbye, adios, and sayonara if you’re being a bitch.

15. All guys are kinky and willing to try anything that you may enjoy, just let them know.

16. Guys are more emotional than you think. If they loved you at one point, it’ll take them a lot longer than you think to let you go, and it hurts every second that they try.

17. A guy would do just about anything to get you to notice him.

18. Guys do not look into minute detailing. So, if you gave up a quarter of an inch from your 20 inches long hair, don’t expect your guy to know that instantly.

19. Guys like porn!

20. Anything said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.

21. “The game is on” will be considered an acceptable excuse to postpone any serious conversations.

22. Cooking makes a girl all the more attractive.

23. You can’t get mad if your guy refuses to hook up your “ugly friend” with one of his good-looking friends.

24. Nothing you will ever do will entitle you to operate the remote control, unless operating means handing it to him.

25. The only thing left to be said after sex is “goodnight.”

26. Video games have helped men develop awesome finger skills that only encourage them to play more often.

27. Critiquing a man’s driving is outright unacceptable.

28. Guys’ night outs are sacred events. If you ask any question about it, you’ll be castigated.

29. Believe it or not, 99.5% of the time men honestly don’t mean to hurt you.

30. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

31. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest.

32. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don’t need to give advice.

33. Don’t hold it against your guy if he starts to cry after a good sports movie, and was laughing outrageously last night when the two of you were watching an emotional drama saga.

34. Leaving a message like “You know what?! Mmm… Never mind…” would make a guy hanging on to that thought all day long and reach a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. Don’t ever do that!

35. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.

36. Guys love you more than you love them.

37. No matter how much guys talk about hotness or sex appeal, personality is key.

38. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.

39. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn’t happen that often, so when it does, you know something’s up.

40. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.

41. Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.

42. You like when your guy calls and asks you out for dinner and pays for you, right? Well yeah, guys like it once in a while too.

43. It’s natural for a guy’s eyes to wander.

44. It’s not that guys don’t want to make their girlfriends happy; it’s just that sometimes, they don’t know how.

45. A guy would give his right arm to be able to read a girl’s mind for a day.

46. Not all guys are jerks. Just because one is a jackass doesn’t mean he represents all of them.

47. When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he isn’t doing it all for sex. It means he likes you more than you can imagine.

48. Even if you dumped a guy months ago and he loved you, he probably still does and if he had one wish it would be to have you back in his life.

49. Guys love girls with brains more than girls in miniskirts.

50. A guy would waste his time over video games and football, the way a girl would do over novels and make-ups.


Source & credit : e-mail

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...